Role of a husband when staying with in law

I decided to write this post after two unhappy incidents happened in 1 week....

What role do you think a husband should play when staying w in law (guy's side)?

To me, this man of the house has to be a mediator that resolves conflicts and prevent misunderstanding from occurring and a communicator who relay messages and also a calm listener who listens to all complains from both sides.

Back to the incidents, although is trivial but was badly managed. Incident 1, my BIL asked us whether we want his maid when his family away for holiday. I told the husband I don't want when he first told me in the car way home. Then my BIL called my MIL while having dinner at home, my MIL then asked the husband and who knows... he asked me again in front of his mother and brother (who is over the phone). I then said no again. Then his mother said she could sleep with her and blah blah... Then both looked at me again and I repeated myself third or fourth times saying no. Then my MIL said no to my BIL and added is me that don't want. What will you do if you were me? I always feel my husband is a sensitive person but when come to handling his family, where is his sensitivity and tactfulness go to? This episode really makes me unhappy.

Today something happened again. It was the clothes rack that has a lot of blunt surface which caused by the person don't know how to use. I briefly commented the damage and the husband said just leave it on balcony. I then said I need it to put my clothes on top n I need it clean. Just bcos of his mother don't know how to use properly, I have to clean it every time I use next time since leaving outside will result it v dirty. After that, we were speechless and just not commenting more. ... At night I was at balcony looking at the better way to place the rack then the husband said just leave it outside and it will not spoilt easily. Sigh.. Then we had a loud quarrel in front of the old lady. Pissed ... More pissed.

How much more do I have to endure these nonsense?

Sometimes I feel that it will be better if I put faith in full day childcare n keep the old lady out of my house.

Sigh... More quarrels are sure to come.. Is there anyone could tell me what should I do..

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